Six-Year Olds Are Selfish...& Other Sobering Thoughts

Now I bet that got your attention, didn't it?

There may be some of you who think this is a harsh - maybe even cruel? - title for a blog post, especially coming from a children's author. But hopefully there are many of you that are sat there silently nodding your heads already.

For those who aren't, please bear with me.

I love my children more than anything. I feel the need to remind everyone of that at this juncture. But I was once told that children at the delightful five-or-six-year-old stage are very selfish, and I can now hold my hands up and say I agree. And I am witnessing it first-hand.

However, please don't judge me too harshly or go about sharpening your pitch-forks for me just yet. I assure you that before this post is done, I will also explain how I now TOTALLY get the reasons why.

Most parents' days start in the same way - with the same incessant requests - no, demands - seemingly from the crack of dawn. I was going to insert here a generously-sized list of examples from our household, but felt it more fitting (and efficient) to allow Dustin Hoffman, aka Captain Hook, to do it for me.

Take it away, Dust...!

Now those of us blessed with multiple offspring know the beauty (!) of hearing diatribes such as this...in stereo! My two - being of the twin ilk - seem to have mastered their early-morning onslaughts into a multi-layered symphony that seems to seamlessly bleed into one another, without pause, without effort...without breath, on occasion.

As I have sat and pondered the sheer expectant nature of my children - may I even use the word 'entitled'? - at times, it occurred to me why - or even how - they could possibly think such behaviour is acceptable.

The simple answer? They're children.

They are still new to this world, still trying to make sense of everything around them (although much more of it is now a hell of a lot more familiar than it was before). Most importantly, they are still trying to work out who they are. When you take a moment to consider this, all of a sudden it is very easy to see how they don;t look beyond the end of their own noses. All that matters to them at this age is their world, which may even exist to be nothing more than the room they are sat in at that precise moment.

They have no concept of money. They have no knowledge or experience of work. They have no inkling of what it is like to have any kind of responsibility. And why should they? They're six! (Or will be in a month's time. For the sake of the last few weeks, and a catchier blog title, I am rounding up).

So, to these adorable little creatures, the most important thing to them may be where the next biscuit is coming from, and why they have had to ask for it ten times in the last thirty seconds, only for it to still not have materialised. All that may matter to them for the next ten minutes is what happens to Captain Underpants in his next episode.

Who are we to begrudge them such small - but hugely important - pleasures? Unfortunately, we are adults. Parents. Employees. Family. Friends. All of this comes at a price, and unfortunately (as far as my opinion goes) I feel the cost is our innocence.

We simply don't have time to consider these things these days, in the hustle-and-bustle that our existence has become. Nor do such small things matter, for they are quickly overshadowed by when the next wage packet will hit our bank accounts and when the next wave of bills arrive to sweep most of it away just as quickly.

Adulthood can be a very jaded time. It is my belief that this is the role that children are sent to play in our world - they remain a link to our own childhoods, reminding us of the things that used to matter to us all. And the most beautiful thing? They aren't even aware of this! They have no idea they are even carrying out any form of greater good. They are simply living the only life they have - or want - at this time!

*As if to prove a point, my daughter Lorelei - clearly responding to a Bat-signal announcing my frustration at trying to get this blog post written at last - just interrupted me typing to ask me to come and see their joint effort of a "domino park" in the bathroom. Knowing what I had just written down, I could hardly resist...

Another sobering thought on this subject is that children do not understand mental health. And nor should they. But I have to keep reminding myself of that when I find my patience is fading sometimes. Or, to be truthful, oftentimes.

They have no idea why their incessant tapping of a toy on the kitchen table is annoying me. They have no idea that my mind is still stewing over a problem at work that you cannot let go. Or a comment that I made yesterday that I have by then convinced myself means that someone will no longer be talking to me. They live for the now, something I feel personally that I have forgotten how to do. My mind is always so rooted in replaying an event from the the past or fretting about the future that I am missing out on sharing in the joy that they are experiencing at that moment. It is just easier for me to let me annoyance boil over.

So yes, six-year-old's are selfish. But let them be, before they no longer have that

level of freedom.

Life is hard enough these days - with daily reports of doom, gloom and media scare-mongering - without us expecting our little ones to be thinking outside their own little bubbles. That's the problem with bubbles - they are so fragile. They won't last forever. And all it may take is one angry finger-point too many.

Plus, I wouldn't ever want to rush them towards thinking like an adult. I mean, just look at what is happening in our supermarkets right now because of some misguided-yet-widespread advice. If our local Tesco's shelves are anything to go by, everyone is rushing home to combat Covid-19 with a year's supply of toilet roll and broccoli!

Catch you all next time!